Twitter has unveiled a new feature, and users are abuzz. Is it a way to opt out of seeing sponsored content? An actually functioning anti-harassment tool? Some improvement on whatever the hell "Moments" is supposed to be? Hahaha, no. It's the ability to retweet yourself. That's right: One of the two people to retweet that tweet was me—the guy who tweeted it. I RT'd just in case some bozo follower wasn't keeping close tabs on my timeline and needed a second chance to engage with my content. Sure, with old Twitter I could have tweet-quoted myself, like so: But the self-RT is so sleek, so efficient, so futuristic. And if you already have a mountain of evergreen tweets in your history, so much the better for your personal brand, which will never grow stale as you endlessly recycle it. Welcome to the fountain of youth, bitches. Splash around, why don't ya? But before you go on a self-retweeting rampage, remember: There's a right and a wrong (and an even wronger) way to do this. Don't fuck it up! And, naturally, there are some solid arguments for never self-RT'ing. If you find yourself bewildered by all the nuances of this exciting new phase in the age of social media anxiety, however—or, God forbid, actually taking a side in the argument over it—just remember: Nobody actually cares.
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