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Meryl Streep and Morgan Freeman are Future's parents

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Now that that former presidential candidate Ted Cruz has been officially outed as the Zodiac Killer, it’s time to analyze another conspiracy theory.

Yes, that’s right: Three-time Oscar winner Meryl Streep and one-time Oscar winner Morgan Freeman are possibly the parents of rapper and soon-to-be-Oscar-winner Future

Here’s how this most likely came to pass:

In 1983, fresh off of her Oscar win for Sophie’s Choice, Meryl Streep took up a torrid affair with Oscarless up-and-coming actor Morgan Freeman. During that period, phones looked like this:

Computers looked like this:

And your mom partied like this:

Just trying to give you a visual. 

Anyway, back to the matter at hand: Meryl Streep and Morgan Freeman had a secret love affair and birthed baby Future in 1983. Meryl was married at the time, and Morgan was just getting his feet wet in Hollywood, so raising the child they had together was not an option. After realizing they were both better off as friends, the talented actors decided to give Future up for adoption in Atlanta, because they knew he’d have the best shot of becoming a successful rapper there.

Why don’t Meryl and Morgan now acknowledge that they birthed one of the hottest rappers in the game? Are they ashamed that they didn’t rear Future themselves? Will they only claim Future as their child once he wins his Academy Award for Best Original Song? 

Stay tuned, everyone. This conspiracy theory has just begun to see the light of day, and it's bound to get a whol lot weirder. 



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