Glorified shredded iceberg lettuce operation Subway has been hard up for quite some time. Its once-amiable spokesperson turned out to be more reprehensible than the sandwich chain’s concept of measurement in dwindling inches, the great sandwich wars have finally calmed down, and people somehow rediscovered their tastebuds to the detriment of sandwich artists everywhere. What may pull Subway out from its descent into sadness is perhaps the only great thing to ever happen to the company to begin with—@WWESubway, a Twitter account that pairs the absurdity of wrestling with the joys of eating fresh. Not since the Monday night wars and the Attitude Era has wrestling so delicately tickled the zeitgeist. Add to that the collective conscious’ deep need to administer a constant drip of nostalgia, and it only makes sense that sports entertainment product be paired with the likes of $5 footlongs. I can certainly think of no better way to illustrate my psychic connection with a sandwich artist than the problematic wrestling gimmickry of Akeem. Hailing from parts unknown, @WWESubway has been dominating Twitter’s squared circle for less than a month, diligently updating with more bravado than a Ravishing Rick Rude boogie. The Internet smells what the Subway sandwich artists are cooking and are eagerly hoping a partnership is forged between the WWE and everyone’s least favorite easy lunch option. Sure, it’s not Chex—the official sponsor of Royal Rumble—but it's just as basic and clearly already has the staying power, as with so many recent acquisitions to the WWE roster. Make it happen, Vince McMahon.
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