7 ways Obama should use his new Twitter account

In a move that was sure to galvanize the media on the slowest Monday in recent memory, President Barack Obama now has a personal Twitter account. Call it part of his “DGAF Tour”—just one more sign that he’s ready to move out of Washington and get on with his life.

What advice can we give a leader of the free world just now joining the nine-year-old social media platform? Well, this is where you let your basic flag fly. So don’t be afraid to:

1) Tweet thirstily at celebrities

Twitter’s primary function is to connect unknown scrubs with their A-list idols.

2) Subtweet coworkers

Sometimes online passive-aggression is the only thing Vice President Biden understands.

3) Promote your mixtape

Featuring a guest verse from hype man/Press Secretary Josh Earnest and a Justice Scalia diss track.

4) Ask how things work

How do you post a Sign Bunny? I dunno, crowdsource that shit.

5) React to TV shows in real-time

Now that he has Twitter, Obama can watch season two of True Detective like a real human being.

6) Jump on some stupid trending hashtags

Great chance to restore some of that “man of the people” cred.

7) Viciously troll Donald Trump

Not all conservative nutjobs—just Donald Trump.

Photo via The Searcher/Flickr (CC BY 2.0)