With time running out, he drew his lot and smashed his screen:
Then came an outpouring of brand generosity. Pornhub itself caught word of Denzel's tragic story and decided to make him whole again.
"We got wind of what happened to Denzel and his laptop over the last few days, and realize that this is a common, yet tragic modern day mis-FAP of the average Pornhub fan," wrote Pornhub VP Corey Price in an email to the Daily Dot. "It’s also a serious blow to everyone who enjoys the privacy of a good wank within the security of their rooms. We appreciate Denzel’s loyalty, as well as his clear sense of judgment in picking our site as a digital destination for some adult oriented R&R. As a result, we would like to send him a brand new laptop alongside some awesome Pornhub swag to use for his continued pleasure."
Lesson learned: Pornhub will do absolutely anything to keep their customers coming back for more.H/T BroBible | Photo via DenzelMichaelUK/Twitter