Warning: This story features a graphic photo of Jose Canseco's detached finger.
There are a lot of things I will tolerate from former MLB player Jose Canseco in my neverending quest for whimsy: putting diapers on fainting goats, dabbling in Donald Trump portraiture, even taking on Neil deGrasse Tyson for best Twitter feed about completely true facts and theories on science.
While playing poker earlier this week, the slugger brought new meaning to the phrase “going all in” when his goddamn finger fell off. And now that he’s posted photo of it, let me go right ahead and say what needs to be said: Nah.
It all started Friday afternoon, when Canseco sent out a string of tweets about losing his biggest chip of all while playing in a poker tournament Thursday night: his middle finger. (Canseco shot off the digit just a few weeks ago while cleaning his gun, because, well, Canseco.)
Dam I was playing in a poker tournament last night and something crazy happened to my finger that I shot off and they put back on.— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 14, 2014
I knew something crazy was going to happen with this dam finger cause it felt like it was falling off.— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 14, 2014
Ok well I might as well tell you .I was playing in a poker tournament last night and my finger fell off .someone took a video of it.— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 14, 2014
My finger should have been amputated from the beginning. It was very loose with no bone to connect it.it was also smelling really bad.— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 14, 2014
Canseco swore that a fellow tournament player took video of the digit’s detachment and that he had seen it, but then again this is also a man who promises that if you make it to 2050, you can choose which age you get to be and live forever, so, you know, grain of salt. Unfortunately, Canseco strolled back onto Twitter this morning to ruin weekends, appetites, lives. He tweeted a photo of his finger. Or rather, his lack thereof.
This is my finger before it fell off.maybe I will sell it on ebay after all that finger hit 462 mlb homeruns. pic.twitter.com/ShVIGV3wvW— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 15, 2014
Normally, this would beg a lot of questions: Why was his finger out of its original cast? What Las Vegas strip doctor reattached it the first time? Did that surgeon use Krazy Glue instead of sutures? Why did he put it in his freezer instead of heading back to the emergency room?
I’m still too green in the gills to string together interrogatives of any real ilk. Jose Canseco’s finger fell off and there is photographic proof. I will never, ever unsee this.
I put my finger in the freezer anyone want finger appetizers.— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 15, 2014
Or is it finger snacks— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) November 15, 2014
Photo via Bryan Horowitz/Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0)